Lessons in gratitude and paying it forward.
“Philanthropy was imprinted on me at a young age. It comes as naturally to me as the air I breathe, it’s a part of my ethos– my very soul. It’s a place where I find comfort and see the good in people. ”
Sr. Director of Development– I held that position for 30 years at the University of Georgia (Go DAWGS!) I often found myself explaining to others “what I did.” Ultimately, it boiled down to what it truly was – I was a fundraiser (at least on a good day). It was one of the greatest joys of my life to serve my alma mater and to play a role in connecting passions with purses.
People would often say, “I don’t know how you do that! I’d NEVER be able to ask people for money!” For me, it came naturally. I’d laugh about the common thought of the two things that frighten people most: asking people for money and public speaking– I certainly did my share of both during those 30 years. It wasn’t until I retired, and had time to reflect on my career, that I truly realized my “why” that fueled the long hours, anxious moments, tedious counting, and the subsequent joy that accompanied each campaign and new fiscal year.
Philanthropy was imprinted on me at a young age. It comes as naturally to me as the air I breathe, it’s a part of my ethos– my very soul. It’s a place where I find comfort and see the good in people.
No, I was not raised by a wealthy family– at least not the bank-kind of wealthy. Instead, we were wealthy in our relationships and the love of our community. My very first memory of philanthropy was through church. My father, who himself did not attend church for many of my formative years, made sure that I attended for 13 years straight (!). Sunday after Sunday, I have memories of my mother ensuring that I was impeccably dressed with newly washed and curled hair and my father giving me a few coins for the Sunday School offering jar and a crisp dollar or two for the formal worship afterward. I remember the emphasis on the “crisp dollar.” It was my father’s way of giving his best gift: quality over quantity. I remember hearing the sound of the coins as they hit the bottom of the jar those early mornings and the pride I felt in sharing my riches, even if I hadn’t earned them myself. I can recall the somewhat painful sound that the coin made when it did not hit other coins. I remember feeling like I was a part of a team when the sound of my coins hitting the three inches of coins already in place, and how it made me excited that we could quite possibly reach the top.
Family Photos
Life in rural northeast Georgia taught me about the importance of community- something I am grateful for to this day.
As a very young child, I received messages that showing up and sacrificing for others was important and expected. I’ll forever be grateful for those messages.
In the mid-1970s, when I was 10, my father was diagnosed with kidney disease and our family found ourselves as only the second family in the state of Georgia to have a kidney dialysis machine in our home. The cost was $25,000 cash. At the time, insurance companies weren’t covering this technologically advanced medical ‘luxury’. For our family, that amount was simply not attainable.
But, our community was there for us. Before we could blink, I saw my father’s face on the side of various clear jars in a variety of stores asking for donations. An auxiliary service group of the company from which my Dad retired organized a basketball tournament where the proceeds benefited our cost of the kidney machine. An anonymous donation came to us from the church. I received messages of humility and thankfulness as we were the beneficiaries of charity and my father could have a realistic treatment at home for years to come. I’ll forever be grateful for those messages of love and support.
The support continued, even after my father’s passing when I was in high school. Our local car dealer gave me a “better than usual” discount on my first car as Mom was buying it soon after Dad’s death. When I needed an array of expensive dresses for a string of events, the phone simply rang with offers of quality dresses from girls a little older than me. I saw the relief on my mother’s face, who lived off of a secretary’s salary. In college, I earned several scholarships– strangers were paying for my tuition? I received the message that I was someone of value, and that I was expected to give back when I was able. Those messages instilled confidence in me and let me see the power of believing in others. It became the foundation of the work I do to this day.
The 4-H club taught me to constantly be practicing volunteer service, often which involved gathering funds for a special need.
Life brought me back to Athens, GA in 1996. I was an interior designer working on a former professor’s home when she told me about a development position at UGA. I had no idea what it was (and I later learned neither did she!), but I applied because of my trust in her. I honestly believed I was applying for a position to help secure internships for students. I was naïve and inexperienced. This was before the internet was readily available to do the research!
I was drawn to the work of fundraising. When presented to me, I instantly connected with the opportunity to build a career in this field. Thankfully, the Dean at the time took a chance on and invested in me. She offered me great training and gave me the grace to make mistakes while learning from the best.
Since that time, I have worked hard to close a $1,000,000 gift and even harder to close a $10,000 gift. I’ve sent out mass appeals with skillfully crafted letters that did not yield enough to pay for the postage. I’ve handled large estate gifts from donors who had less than $100 in lifetime giving. I’ve fallen short of goals and blown past others. Fundraising is part art and part science. It’s a study in psychology. It is a profession where skill meets luck. It’s a place where a goal being met can be influenced by a political election, a college football game, or a scary diagnosis.
But it’s also a place where everyone is always smiling. People who work for nonprofits are the happiest of people. They are driven by service more than salary. They can bear witness to immediate impact. People who donate to nonprofits can also be the happiest of people. As I worked with many donors over the years, I can’t recall one who wasn’t smiling when they made their gift. I’ve never met one person who regretted their gift or wished they could take it back (OK – there WAS that one lady who feared she wouldn’t get her new kitchen when her husband surprised her with a new endowment – but she did!)
Just when I thought I knew it all, I had a donor help me see my job from a different perspective. She lived in California and I asked her to support a special project with a meaningful five-year pledge. She quickly agreed. She thanked me over and over, telling me that I could have asked anyone to support this special opportunity and that SHE was given the opportunity to make this particular difference. I had given her the privilege of a lifetime. I learned there is, indeed, power in connecting passions and purses– and I’ll forever be grateful for the myriad of messages I received from those who strategically donated and trusted me in the process.
Since retiring from my career at UGA, I’ve had time to reflect. Now I understand that charity is a tenet of my upbringing– both from the giving and the receiving sides.
Being charitable is a continuous effort to improve the lives of others, especially those that don’t have as good of a life as I have. It’s about giving until I smile, or until it feels good. I don’t always have the dollars to make the impact that I’d like to make, but I can still make an impact. I can make an impact through charities and through donors who need help directing charitable gifts.
When I retired, I felt I had plenty of energy and time ahead of me. Maybe I could create the next widget, write a book or become a professional decorator. All of this sounded fun and within the realm of possibilities. But I’ve come to understand that I don’t have a choice but to work in philanthropy. It was imprinted on my heart by others at a very young age. I have a mission to “pay it forward”.
I wholeheartedly believe that if we each dig deep and find nonprofits that are meaningful to us and show up with our varied resources, then we can truly change the world.
One charity at a time – one hour at a time – one gift at a time.